I’ve bought you a present!”, says my lovely wife upon her return from the seaside. “Guess what you are doing on Christmas Day!?” My mind boggles. Take delivery of a new car? Jet off on a winter-sun holiday?

No

“You’re washing up!”

Sainsbury’s Tree-shaped Sponge Scourer. Pack of 3 only 60 pence! Other supermarkets and sponges are available.